Making Your Decision
Deciding whether to mediate and choosing a mediator are important steps in the mediation process. Here are a few guidelines for doing so:
- Identify the the nature of the issues that need mediation (e.g. separation, marriage, elder issues, child support/access).
- Make sure that those directly involved in the issues needing resolution are in agreement with using a mediator. Remember, family mediation only takes place where all the individuals are in agreement that it take place.
- Read about the family mediation process (review this site, find literature at the local library, or gather resources from a mediator, counsellor or lawyer).
- Try to obtain names of a few mediators with whom the referring person (a lawyer, family counsellor, friend or acquaintance) has actually dealt, or knows of by reputation.
- Look at the list of family mediators available in your area (e.g. use our OAFM online directory in the right navigation bar, yellow pages, or a local directory of family mediators).
- When approaching a family mediator about possibly providing services obtain the following information: the professional background or training in the area which needs mediating, formal family mediation training, formal family mediation accreditation, mediation fees, related family mediation activities, and hours of business.
- Identify early in a conversation with the mediator if there has been any physical or verbal abuse during or after the relationship, difficulties in negotiating voluntarily, fairly or as equals, and whether there are court proceedings including any restraining orders. Speak to the mediator about his/her approach to mediating in these circumstances.
- Make sure there are no conflicts of interest such as the mediator having at some point had a professional or personal relationship with one of the prospective clients. If there has been some relationship, identify it and determine if it would interfere with the mediator's ability to be neutral, or be perceived by the clients as affecting the mediator's neutrality. If in the least doubt, choose another mediator.
- Arrange for an introductory meeting so that you are comfortable using the mediator, whatever his/her credentials. Make sure to establish whether there is a fee for the meeting.
- Ask for a copy of the mediation services agreement which will likely need to be signed. That usually sets out the basic contract between the mediators and the client.